My attempts to be more current on this thing have completely failed. And I really hate bulleting things out, but alas, alack, that's kind of my life lately.

So, update number one, I'm working as a personal assistant again. It is challenging and crazy, and in between the murk of dropping off YSL wedding dresses and helping him choose $540 bespoke shoes, there is a legitimate job in here. Even if I'm getting paid dirt.

Next, went to a PBR event with drvsilla this weekend for her birthday up at the Mohegan Sun. That casino is legit crazy and filled to the brim with the Jersey Guido type, as even the announcers at the event saw fit to comment on. BUT, in spite of the complete and utter alienness of pretty much every aspect of the whole thing, I really enjoyed myself. Probably because I am shallowness incarnate and hot men were involved.

( A discourse on the Borgias, Madmen, and Common Law )

Although my job has made progress a little slower than I would usually like, I have started working on the stories that people bid on me for. Sorry, it's been five months, but I want you to know, you've been at the back of my mind since December, I was just so caught up in applying to jobs and roommate drama it was a little difficult.

Which, on the same train of thought, I'm dwelling in a fandom nebulousness, because while I want to be really fannish and excited about Person of Interest, nobody else wants to be fannish with me. Nobody will play Dodgeball with me guys, I'll just have to hangout on the swings by myself! So, I don't know, any fic recs? A03 is failing me. I'll read pretty much anything, because there is a dirty polyamorous part of my heart that's open to all kinds of things.

I honestly don't understand why more people aren't slashing John Reese and Harold Finch from Person of Interest. Only 47 stories on Archive of our Own? Am I going to have to make this happen all by myself?

I started watching this show because I found out Jonathan Nolan was the executive producer and I was like WAIT A MOMENT, AWESOME! I certainly wasn't looking for a new slash pairing, but now I'm sad that nobody else is feeling the Finch/Reese love. Although tumblr tells me the pairing is called Rinch. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, FANDOM?



( Spoilers for Person of Interest. Hilarity. You know, stuff. )

But unfortunately, in other tv news, things I am not so happy about:

( Spartacus, why? )

1. I changed my hairstyle again. It's not terribly dramatic and yet hugely dramatic. I don't know how or why!

( Cut for Shamelessness. )

2. I have a song for you: "Gay Pirates" by Cosmo Jarvis (follow the link to download) Despite the humor of the title and some of the verses, and maybe even because of said humor, this song is incredibly poignant. And awesome. So I suggest you all give it a go.

3. I am reading Hound of the d'Urbervilles by Kim Newman right now, which is rapidly turning out to be my favorite thing on the planet. It's a perspective on Moriarty from Moran's point of view, and it's HILARIOUS. Not to mention Thomas Hardy gets some major bashing in the story (the author, hello). Actually it's hard to tell if the author likes Thomas Hardy or not, BUT MORAN DOESN'T, so that's good enough for me! If James Franco weren't around, Thomas Hardy's decrepit corpse would be my vaunted nemesis.

4. Coachella tickets arrived!

5. I am really enjoying slash about Hockey Boys at the moment.

( Cut for images and rambling. Apparently the Chicago Blackhawks are really gay. )

6. SECRET GARDEN. I recently started watching K Dramas after I lost my mindmy best friend insisted I should, and got really into the disaster that is Boys Over Flowers. But then rosekay, who is a horrible human being, who always ends up getting me involved in these things (although I resisted most valiantly with Grimm fandom, THERE ARE LINES, OKAY), told me to watch Secret Garden, and I'm hooked. And I want to write ten billion pages of dirty porn about Ra Im and Joo Won. 'Cuz, that's what I want to do when I like something.

And that's all she wrote, folks.

I like how the 2011/2012 television season has really been about the ladies for me. It wasn't like I was selecting buddy-cop shows and procedurals and male-dominated action pieces, because I take a certain joy in testosterone-fueled ridiculousness (although, actually, I must admit I do have a certain predilection for that sort of thing). It was partly because all interesting tv was written for and about men.

Unpopular opinion: I loathe Buffy and Alias. In the past I've been careful about expounding on my thoughts of the role of women in tv, because I didn't want to get into that whole misogyny wank nonsense where I had to make like, 80 billion qualifications so I could explain what exactly I meant. In all honesty, and it comes at some cost to admit this, so I'm expecting you not to jump on me, for a long time I really didn't like a lot of the female characters that appeared on TV. Obviously there are exceptions to every rule and at no point do I want to get into what constitutes as a cool lady. I attribute this general malais (that's how I think of it anyway) to the fact that female characters are by and large written for and by men. Ah, a recurring theme, this men thing. Could it be possible that my dislike of female characters was predicated not on an inherent self-hating myopia, but on the fact that I thought women were actually being undervalued on TV? Gee! I WONDER!

Luckily, the turning point for me was in 2010 with Haven and now every week I really look forward to watching Hart of Dixie, Revenge, Alcatraz (which passes the bechtel test with flying colors), and Once Upon a Time. And Bomb Girls. (And Parks and Rec and Boys Over Flowers--both of which count because they are new discoveries). That is full-on craziness and in some ways it saddens me that such a thing comes as a surprise. How sad is it that studios only realized the box office buying power of women with fucking sex and the city and twilight? It took them nearly 8 decades! That's ludicrous. But, as all of you fine ladies have learned, better to pick our battles. I do my best to take it as evidence of the positive direction the industry is moving in. (I'm sure you guys have a deluge of other shows you have watched with kickass ladies that've been running for a while, lemme stress that what makes this so special to me is how many options I have right now in a single broadcast season!)

That's not to say all of our hurdles are past: A friend of mine, another screenwriter, was just paid to option (or whatever the hell it's called) a pilot for the CW about female 20 somethings in Williamsburg. Forget how entirely fucking exploitative that is, and lets focus on the fact that this friend is a guy. I get it if it was his brilliant (read: incredibly lame) idea to write about female 20 somethings hanging out in the 'burg, but the fact that someone else came up with it, and their first thought was to go to a male writer to create it is exactly what I mean. It's just proof for me why female characters are often so frustrating and difficult for me to enjoy, because so often we are only getting them through the lens of the male gaze.

OMG. This totally started out as a YAY I'M HAPPY I'M FINDING SHOWS WHERE SLASH PAIRINGS AREN'T THE ONLY INTERESTING ROMANTIC ENTANGLEMENTS thing. Let me clarify that I'm not saying I only like slash because cool het pairings are few and far between. No, this is not true, on many levels, only one of which is really important to this argument. Male intimacy, as I assume it is for many of you, is obviously a thing for me in and of itself. Just so that nobody extrapolates that out to some jumped up 'logical' end that has nothing to do with reality: my pleasure in male sexual intimacy is not because I want the women to GTFO.

Sidebar: can we just talk about Spartacus for a moment? ( cut for spartacus spoilers )

BUT IN SUMMATION, YAY VAGINA.

Title: The Ephemera of You
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: Revenge
Pairing: Emily/Nolan
Word Count: 4,369
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Nolan teaches Emily how to be Amanda again.
Notes: For ghostrunner7, who asked for either Emily/Nolan or Raylan/Tim. Since somebody else asked for Raylan/Tim, I figured I'd give you Emily/Nolan. Enjoy!

( She wondered what she was going to do with herself when all this was over—if she managed to avoid getting herself thrown back into prison. )

Written on 12/22/11

( The Bell House, Micke/Grant, Grant getting them lost, for regala_electra, 433 words )

Title: You're A Rare Earth Magnet and Other Ways to Say I Love You
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: Generation Kill
Pairing: Brad/Nate
Word Count: 5,393
Rating: R
Summary: A sequel to this fic. Nate knows what Brad wants, and he knows what he wants, but he also knows what society wants.
Notes: A christmas present for tikiaceae who wanted a sequel to "His Grace's First Kiss." I'm sorry this took me so long. I've had this finished since before Christmas, but after all the crazy things that happened, it took me a while to just post it. Thanks to oxoniensis for the beta, and also ericaplease for all the reassurances.

( 'You may not kiss me, Colbert!' Nate tells him when he finally summons up the courage to return to The Devilish Hound. )

Title: High and Dangerous
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Wordcount: 17271
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Erik's always dreamed of playing football for Bayern, but it's Arsenal who comes calling. A soccer AU.

Part 1
( Part 2 )

Title: High and Dangerous
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Pairing: Erik/Charles
Wordcount: 17271
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Erik's always dreamed of playing football for Bayern, but it's Arsenal who comes calling. A soccer AU.
Notes: Thanks so much to shighola for listening to me rant and rave about this story. To my coworker Stephanie who put up with me working on this instead of doing my job. And, last but not least to rosekay, who provided a late night beta under extreme duress.

( Erik grew up with stories of great Bayern players like Franz Beckenbauer and Gerd Müller alongside his mother’s Polish folktales of Dažbog and fireflowers. )

Dear Yuletide author,

This is my first time participating in the challenge and I'm very excited. There is somebody else who shares my love for one of these tiny fandoms. That's a gift unto itself!

( How did I ever narrow it down to just three things? )

Title: Diamond In The Rough
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: Hundtricket (The Dog Trick)/Chasing Liberty
Pairing: Micke (Alexander Skarsgard)/Grant Hillman (Stark Sands)
Wordcount: 18,076
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Grant graduates from college, promptly has a mental breakdown, and winds up in Stockholm, all without being quite certain how it happened.

Part 1

( Part 2 )

Title: Diamond In The Rough
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: Hundtricket (The Dog Trick)/Chasing Liberty
Pairing: Micke (Alexander Skarsgard)/Grant Hillman (Stark Sands)
Wordcount: 18,076
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Grant graduates from college, promptly has a mental breakdown, and winds up in Stockholm, all without being quite certain how it happened.
Notes: Two years ago, almost exactly, amberlynne and I came up with this crackbrained idea of Micke from Hundtricket, who desperately needed to get laid by a nice person, and went through the canon of Stark Sands roles, only to stumble on the most hilarious idea of all...Grant, Mandy Moore's hapless date in Chasing Liberty.

Two birthdays later, and I have nearly 20,000 words of unexpectedly serious fic about two boys from completely different lives falling in love. On the shallow side it is the most sex I have ever written in a single story. Enjoy. Much thanks to everybody who audienced this, but especially regala_electra.

( He plugged his mobile number in to Grant’s phone and told him very seriously to call him when he woke up the next morning. 'You can’t find your way around Stockholm for shit,' he said with a grin. 'Possibly you should be embarrassed.' )

Do you ever re-read your stories? Not because you want to fix it or something, but just to reassure yourself? I don't mean going into your--dare I call it bibliography? Yes, I believe I do--bibliography and going "Man, I am so freakin' brilliant, lookit how brilliant I am!" But rather, when you're in a jam, to remind yourself, that you can write? And furthermore that you can like what you write?

Because I do! There are a couple of fics I do this with actually, "What You Need To Get Through This", the sequel I wrote for "Close Call, Stand Tall" and the Vampire!Nate AU I wrote for mydocuments, "Fitting A Shape That Won't Hold". Right now, as I'm going through the beta of a story that I've been working on for almost two years I really need reminding.

The fic I posted yesterday was the first fic I've posted in nine months! NINE FUCKING MONTHS. Grah, where did it go? I do not suggest unemployment or New York winters to anybody struggling to write. It is extremely unhelpful. Actually, if you're like me, you probably need a high stress environment where people are demanding you do things you hate all the time. I think this means I should probably become an accountant or work in marketing for BP.

( Cut for more blather, also procrastination on the writing front. )

This is a very longwinded way of saying, do you have any fics you use like that? And hey guys, what's happening in your lives and have you seen Drive yet? Because you really should.

Title: Innervation
Author: fourfreedoms
Fandom: X-Men: First Class
Pairing: Charles/Erik
Wordcount: 3313
Rating: R
Summary: Never trust spiritual leader who cannot dance - Mr. Miyagi
Notes: I was watching Atonement and suddenly inspired by that scene where Robbie is writing the letter to Cecelia and he stretches his leg out and perfectly wraps his hand around his foot. Suddenly, all I could think of was Charles, raised as a dancer. Hastily written at the asscrack of dawn, so don't hold the insanity against me.

( He was lost in a world that ended precisely at his skin. )

Let me start of by saying this: I love Canadians. You people are awesome. Your cab drivers are hilarious, your waiters are darling, your random passersby will give directions, your bookstore owners will chat about everything, your baristas will make me iced tea that isn't on the menu, your museum curators will undercharge us to save us money, your police officers step out of the way if you're walking towards them, your construction workers will allow us to go places we aren't allowed to get good views. Long story short, you rule.

I want only to be with Canadians for the rest of my life.

Unfortunately, because your society is so nice and trusting, we poor Americans don't know what to do. Like the lack of signposting, and traffic direction. Why do you need street signs that make sense if you just trust everybody not to hit people? Now that I have walked, driven, been driven, bussed, trained, ferried, and flown through this place I am convinced the philosophy here is "Eh, you'll figure it out."

And that's great for you guys. But I think if I lived here I'd be constantly staving off a heart attack. So thanks for the memories, Vancouver, and the really, really awesome food, but I'll leave the rest for you.