|[||music|||||Somewhere a Clock is Ticking-Snow Patrol||]
I just watched the movie Girl, which I'm sure was intended to be a feel good movie, but I felt like a hole had opened up in me and all these worries began to seep in. I don't even know what I have to be worried about anymore. I guess I hate the fact that so much is out of my hands. Control has always been something I prize.
I feel like I could throw up.
There are no words left anymore. I've been trying to write, but the things that appear on the page are never right. Everything's come to a standstill, and I feel like I have to push myself to be special. I wish, for once, that didn't matter so much to me. I wish I could just let myself blend. But I've never been able to just be okay being part of the crowd. I think it's a skill I should've learned.
to whom it may concern . . .well the cards are out on the table now, I just hope they'll prove to be good ones.