the reluctant lobotomist (fourfreedoms) wrote,
the reluctant lobotomist

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We are ready for the apocalypse

I let my mother rope me into biking from Woodside into Palo Alto (which, fifteen minutes by highway, AT LEAST), so it was pretty intense, and then as were walking our bikes up the hill that just won't quit on the way back, I sort of realized something.

I want to be the Dalai Lama, or Buddha. No. I'm totally serious. One would hope I could do it without shaving my head and having to wear maroon and yellow next to each other, because *shudder* hideous. Young painfully white materialistic woman becomes 10th avatar of Vishnu (or 22 depending on the reckoning)? I doubt those things happen over night. But, like, I'm so tired of myself, and my earthly hang ups.

It would be so wonderful if everything could just be zen, and I would only think about tea ceremony, my rock garden, and a series of frothy plant related haikus. I'm pretty sure that's doing it wrong, but seriously, I think meditating for three months straight and having to worry about the 8-fold-path, is honestly FAR too difficult for me right now. Trying to figure out how prep school!Jared embarks on a loving soulful relationship with his arch-nemesis has officially destroyed my will to live. Jared, Jared, please, STOP BEING SO DIFFICULT, I'm half ready to join a convent.

I don't think they let you write porn in a convent. Maybe if I finagled political asylum or something. Probably wouldn't be able to get the catholic church to do that. You know, what with my whole pro-choice road-raging sex-before-marriaging incestuous-gay-porn-writing habits.

Oh hell. I'm pretty sure that's offensive to most religion.
Tags: i am a sad bear
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