I think Casper the friendly ghost ruined me for boys. I mean, how can you beat a boy whose one wish is to be YOUR CINDERELLA, don a fantastic rakish costume, and float you around a dancefloor.
Or maybe it's just pre-teen Devon Sawa, which is deeply disturbing. But all of his early roles are exactly what I hope for in boys. In Now and Then, he likes Roberta after he sees her beat up some other kid, proceeds to teach her how to shoot better free-throws, and then kisses her on a porch-swing. In Little Giants he tells the girl who likes him that she shouldn't be like all the cheerleaders, that she's so much cooler than that, and that she's the only person who can beat up his dad. (I want to be this girl so badly). In Robin of Locksley, he's a closeted socialist, 'NUFF SAID.
I think what I find hot in general has weird ties to early 90s movies. No joke.
Like, I think my first real slash pairing was Smalls and Benny, okay. I SAW THE SANDLOT MOVIE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE SECOND GRADE. I was SEVEN. But how could I not? When Smalls first sees Bennie THE FORCE OF HIS GAZES MAKES BENNY TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HIM. Everybody else loses track of each other, but Benny makes it to the show and Smalls COMMENTATES FOR HIM. THEY GAZE AT EACH OTHER SOULFULLY ACROSS A CROWDED STADIUM. Also, one of the videos on youtube I found when searching for good sandlot clips was SEXI!!!MIKE VITAR!!!!HOTTIE!!! Mike Vitar was like, fourteen when he made this movie? Anybody inspiring crazy fangirls at fourteen should be part of an epic slash pairing. I would totally ask for this pairing at Yuletide if I wasn't afraid of getting bizarre kiddie porn. I actually just noticed that during the scenes with the vacuums, Smalls is holding on to DiNunez's ass and screaming. WTF?
Unfortunately I didn't find any epic proof of their epic love. But I did find this hilarious mashup with Way of the Gun. TOO FREAKIN' PERFECT.
Also, I saw Angels in the Outfield three times in the theaters. I blame that for everything.
(Now and Then and The Sandlot are on Netflix instant right now, btw, I don't know what you're still doing around here)