the reluctant lobotomist (fourfreedoms) wrote,
the reluctant lobotomist

I wish there was an aphorism for this

Does there ever come a day that I'm going to stop wanting more tattoos? Because I would like to know. My wallet kind of hates me at the moment. Also, according to WebMD, I have CFS, mono, depression, anemia, a UTI, or heart disease. I ruled out diabetes by going out and drinking a coke. Since I neither felt better or worse after consuming it, I figure I'm good. Plus, I got to drink a coke in the name of science. UNFORTUNATELY, I still have those, what? seven, other things to deal with? This is why my dad is stupid and should not have dropped me from his health insurance before Obama-care passed.

WHY DID HAVEN END THERE? That is all I have to say. No that's not true. I really like this whole two aspects of the town. I want to know what the brothers' role is in it all. VINCE, WHAT ARE YOU HIDING! And and and I want to write so many fic AUs where Audrey/Lucy is like thousands of years old and so full of compassion for humanity, but has never felt anything for an individual human, and then there's Nate, who can't feel anything, and it starts out as a project to just let him be touched, AND THEN SHE FALLS IN LOVE. BUT, good old fashioned porn will do me quite well also. I'm so happy it's being renewed.

I saw Takers not this weekend, but last weekend with Misha. First of all, DO NOT SPEND YOUR MONEY. DO NOT. Zoe Saldana is in the movie for about FIVE MINUTES, which, dude, I really hope was as a favor to the director and not because they didn't want to expand her role. Especially in wake of the fact that we have to watch Chris Brown FLEEING from the police for TEN WHOLE MINUTES. Oh well, everybody knows I saw it for Hayden Christensen and Paul Walker. Hayden's character AJ and Michael Ealey's character Jake were the most compelling. Unfortunately they were the most under utilized.

Here's what we know about AJ:
1) He went to an Ivy
2) He is covered in tattoos
3) He is the brains of the operation
4) He plays the piano in best friend Jake's bar/club/lounge thing.

WHY THE HELL IS HE A BANK ROBBER? DO WE GET AN EXPLANATION? NO. We know that Paul Walker started out as a petty criminal. That makes sense. We can assume Jake came from a criminal family what with his dad in prison and brother Chris Brown mentioning he was in juvie. So he managed to go to college and probably possibly met Hayden at whatever Ivy it is that they attended. That is my assumption. BUT FILM, WHY COULDN'T YOU THROW ME THE BAREST HINT? I do not care about Matt Dillon and his bad parenting skillz or Chris Brown doing parkour all over LA.

Whatever, I'm totally writing fic about this shit where AJ is madly in love with Jake and nobody knows, but playboy John (Paul Walker) totally notices and calls him on it. And I don't know, slash laws break the laws of physics. BASICALLY they totally end up having hatesex or something, and then it turns to likesex, and then because I AM A SAP, they fall in love.

As for Spartacus: Blood and Sand, I am terrible but I'm really glad Spartacus is not getting canceled. I mean, it kills me that Andy Whitfield is not going to be in it. He was one of the draws for me originally because he'd been in that horrible film Gabriel where they amped up his eyes to electric blue and gave him a bunch of really sick tattoos. I'm admitting my embarrassing love of this film to illustrate that he does mean something to me. Obviously I don't want him to die and I HOPE desperately that he magically gets better, and not just because they probably won't be filming until next summer anyway. But if he can't magically get better, I'd rather Spartacus go on. Sigh.

On a happier note, do you know how much I cheered on House 7.02 when Cuddy grabbed House's crotch in front of Wilson? That moment was so amazingly played by Robert Sean Leonard and Hugh Laurie. I mean the look of pleased shock on House's face and Wilson's comically wide eyes, too happy. I mean, nothing will beat Wilson getting stuck in House's window trying to check on him or Wilson buying the house out from under Cuddy, BUT IT COMES CLOSE.

I'm totally watching Hellcats btw. I could say it's for sassy Gale Harold, but I actually love Aly Michalka and her washboard abs. She and the actor playing Dan Patch should get together and make babies. They'd have superhuman bleach blonde children with truly stunning musculature.
Tags: haven, house, spartacus: blood and sand
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