|[||mood|||||I don't even know||]|
It's funny how autumn always makes me feel like I'm getting old. I don't mean old like denture cream and walkers and orthopedic shoes, I mean old like I'll never be a kid again. It's funny how you never thing you're going to miss being young. I was walking to the classics library tonight to get some work done and the sky was bright red, rain just pouring down all over the place.
I was listening to Cary Brothers "Ride" and suddenly I could remember pressing my face to the second story bay window at the Ryan Court House, waiting for my dad to come home. I could smell it. See it. I remember talking to myself about marauding warriors and proud queen's, just waiting to see his car driving up. And always, there was the ache of missing my mom. It feels like whenever I was with my dad, all I ever wanted was my mom.
And I didn't hide it, I'm sorry daddy.
I hope I make you guys proud.