the reluctant lobotomist (fourfreedoms) wrote,
the reluctant lobotomist

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In mourning...

My next exam is a little less than eight hours away. Alicia called at 1 AM and woke me up and now I can't sleep. Fuck. I suppose I could study more, but I don't see the use. Also, my ipod broke today. I'm not sure how. Or when. Or why. Goddamn you, Steve Jobs!

I also can't believe in a little more than ten days I'll be 19. Sometimes I feel like I sorta stopped at 17 and 18 just never hit. I had so many plans when I was younger that I was going to do before I was 19. I look at it now and I haven't done any of it. And in some cases it's too late. I'm so young, but I feel so freakin' old.

My room-mates have set an ultimatum: either I go on medication or else. I think they're worried that I'm going to kill myself. I'm not. I swear. Because tomorrow always has the possibility of being a better day, even if I can't seem to see it right now. All I feel right now is overwhelmed. God, it doesn't seem like it's about to be Christmas.
Tags: rantage
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