I'm frustrated and disappointed with my writing and my school work and my decisions. I'm sitting here plagued by doubts. About everything. I'm a walking conflicted-doubt machine person. I'm torn between thinking "I AM WONDERFUL, WHERE ARE MY ACOLYTES?" and "I hate myself and I shall amount to shredded paper for the rest of my life." I think it's time they come up with a new disorder--manic narcissism or something.
So what do I do, guys? The obvious solution would be to smoke so much pot I simply don't care about ANYTHING other than my next toke, but then I would probably become more rotund rather than less. And I'd probably have a paranoid schizoid episode and even THAT would be spoiled.
I'm just so lonely. Even when I'm with friends. I want to feel wanted for something, like I'm doing something right, rather than the constant litany of why aren't I good enough?